Healing Wounds

"Feel my arm. Is it cold?" she told me with a grin on her face. Her arm was frigid. I had asked her why in the world it was so cold. She responded that running cold water on her arm was her coping skill in order to not cut when she was agitated. I metaphorically slapped myself in the face for not attending to her anxiety sooner. Even though I was not charting on her, I should have realized that something had happened that day to trigger those intense emotions.

It was a bittersweet moment because although we celebrated her victory over the temptation of self-injury, it was the first time that I had visually seen her scars.

I can sense pain more so than happiness in others. I guess the use of the word 'sense' should be clarified.

My empathy and intuiton work together to recognize the emotions of others. It is a double edged sword, really. It is a gift in the sense that it gives me insight into others, but a curse in that it is difficult to control.

And that I don't like feeling pain.

One of the greatest reliefs that I learned as a counselor is that I am not solely responsible for the healing of the heart. I believe that too often people place such a high expectation on us to solve everyone's problems (which to a certain degree they should place at least some expectation).

Believing solely in that high expectation would not only give one an extreme ego-trip, but also cause them to disregard a key component in counseling.

Self-denial.

The art of counseling is not about us, our problems, or our pride in recognition and success.

It is about vulnerability, guidance, and God's wisdom in the process of change. We counselors are the instruments, and He uses us as he pleases. I may be able to sense the scars of the heart in another person, but I cannot solve or change that person. I cannot pry open their past and force them to open up.

When I saw the scars on her arms, I immediately thought of the wounds of the heart. Our past scars that still impact us today.

There must be a will to change in the heart. There must be a longing and acceptance in regards to the process of healing.

And the only one that changes hearts is the Creator of hearts.